30. Advices I wish my kids would listen to.

Dec 28, 2024

1. Choose the Right Partner - Committing to the right person is one of the most important decisions you'll make. Being with someone you love and who makes you happy can make even the toughest choices easier. Life becomes more enjoyable as you take risks and try new things together. Building a strong relationship has its challenges, but facing ups and downs together makes you both stronger. Take all the time you need to commit, but once you do, commit ferociously.

2. Have Kids - I can think of many reasons why to have kids, but the #1 reason is that they teach you how to love. Holding your child for the first time is hard to explain — it brings tears of joy just remembering it. Kids teach you a lot more than you think they will. For them failure happens often and goes away fast. Making them happy is also simpler than it seems: love them, be present, and show them the world.

3. Make Family a Priority - The family you inherit can be both a blessing and a curse. Letting go of the people who raised you is extremely hard and painful, but sometimes necessary. Regardless of the family you inherit, the family you build is what truly matters. Aim to build a family filled with joy and happiness. Nothing will make you happier. Providing your kids with a safe, supportive, and happy environment is one of the greatest gifts you can give them and one they will remember forever.

4. Keep a Small Circle - Be intentional about the friends you choose. The pool of people who share your energy and values is way smaller than you expect. Seek out those you admire and respect, who make you laugh, and whom you'd want your kids to spend time with. Investing in a few deep friendships is much more rewarding than having dozens of casual acquaintances.

5. Life Compounds - Life really is a long-term game. Small efforts early on can lead to disproportional rewards later, but it takes time and persistence to keep going when you’re just starting. You might end up having kids with someone you first asked out for coffee, without even realizing you were going on a date. The best career opportunities come from working with talented people who enjoy working with you over time. Building wealth happens by investing your money early and consistently. Make your bets early and stick with them and double down when it feels simply feels right.

6. Define Success Early - Figuring out what you want in life can be really challenging. The best way to get a better grasp at it is trying a lot of stuff, mess up often, and learn to let go early while you can. One thing that helps defining success is to think of the day of your funeral — thinking about who would be there, and what family and loved ones would say about you.

7. Stay Grounded - No one will take care of you if you don’t take care of yourself first. Life is hard, but it was likely harder for those who raised you. Their wisdom keeps you grounded and optimistic. Ask your grandparents about how they grew up. Listen carefully and ask plenty of questions. Your parents' childhood is still too close to yours, but your grandparents' childhood might feel like a completely different world. You’ll be surprised by how much things have changed, feel grateful for your own life, and develop a deeper appreciation for your ancestors.

8. Be Happy & Enjoy Life - Try to appreciate the good in your life, take some time to do things you love every now and then even if that sounds unproductive, don’t complain much, and just keep going.

9. Make Important Decisions - Some of the most important decisions you’ll make happen during pillow-talk or while cleaning the kitchen with your partner. Your mind brings up big questions when you're not seeking answers intentionally. It’s like your mind is telling you to follow your gut, and your gut wants to check in with your partner.

10. Go through Hard Times - Life makes you go through hard times every now and then. You can always choose how to face hard times though — as a victim or as a change agent. Make sure you’re no stranger going through and getting out of hard times as they teach you 100x more about yourself than good times, both in life and at work.

11. Mind & Body - Your body gives you signs if your mind is not ok and vice-versa.

12. Be Healthy - Eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, spend time in nature, and build meaningful relationships. A good way of achieving it: at least 90% homemade food with a plenty of protein and veggies, exercising 6h/week in a combination of strength, flexibility and cardio, going to bed early doing the same bedtime routine every day, visiting the park every other week and spending vacations in nature, and dedicating as much time as possible to partner, kids, and close friends. If life and work are long-term games, you should play them feeling loved, fit, rested, and energized.

13. Build Discipline - Discipline is like competing with yourself to do what’s right and necessary, even when you don’t feel like it. One way to build discipline is to take on activities that challenge you over time or that put you under a lot of stress. Such as running long distances or playing a competitive sport. It’s hard to find someone who has succeeded in competitive sports without a killer mindset.

14. Understand Freedom - People often think of freedom as having no constraints, but those people are oftentimes not that happy or free. True freedom comes from the constraints you commit yourself to. As long as you can choose what you commit yourself to, you’re free (and most likely happy).

15. Importance of Money - Money doesn’t buy you happiness, but being unsure if you have enough money to make it until the end of the month will make you miserable. Having enough money gives you peace of mind. That's priceless.

16. Take Advice with a Grain of Salt - People offer advice based on what they optimize their life for, even when they mean well. Unless you want to live exactly like someone else, be cautious about taking advice literally.

17. Learn Voraciously - Talk to people often. Observe the world. Read frequently and prefer long content (knowledge is detail and nuance). Read dead people's lifelong work to understand the meaning of life. Read the current brighest minds' work to be in the frontier of knowledge. Work on hard problems with the brightest people you can find. Avoid: Staying behind a screen, endlessly scrolling the web and social media, watching TV, and paying tons of attention to the "news".

18. Make something New Often - There’s something about doing something new that makes you feel happier, especially if it comes with some risks. It makes life more interesting and helps you feel alive instead of stuck in a rut. Every now and then, take on something new.

19. Push Hard - Sense of urgency, agency, and focus are among the most valuable skills independently of what you do. They are also very hard to train. Push hard, even if and especially when it seems scary.

20. Be Nice to People - Speak good of the people you love, especially when they’re not around. And be nice to strangers, even when it doesn’t matter — you can make someone’s day much better by smiling back at them.

21. Do Things that Most People Won’t - There are things most people don’t do that can give you an edge in life, but they only work for a few. The sunrise is just as beautiful as the sunset, but only a few people get to see it.

22. Do Stuff - The brightest people consistently do more than they promise. At first, others might value what you say, but over time, your actions become much more important than your words.

23. Don't Chase Status - Don’t worry about what others think of your life. Only listen to the few people you choose to matter in your life — closest family and friends. What friends of friends, acquaintances, and strangers think of your decisions doesn't matter.

24. Connect in Person - There's something special about walking while talking that makes it easier to listen and connect with someone. That's the best way to solve disagremments with your partner. The energy you share face-to-face is also unmatched. While you can stay connected in the bits world, the most important relationships are built and honed in the atoms world. This applies to your relationships, friendships, and work.

25. Avoid Regret - Most people regret the things they didn’t do or did too late more than the things they tried and didn’t work out. When you’re unsure, just go for it. Regret is one of the worst feelings and can stick with you for a long time.

26. Care about Physical Space - Aim for a physical space that is clean, with great aesthetics, and with great light. It will make your days better.

27. Mark Special Moments - Don’t let special moments pass by like any other day. Memories are created when you do something different on those moments - it gives them meaning.

28. Avoid Distractions - Avoiding distractions in life is probably amongst the hardest things to do nowadays considering the amount of stuff that hits our eyeballs even if they don’t matter. Build a strong sense to differentiate what matters and what doesn’t, and be relentless in getting rid of what doesn’t.

29. Don't Worry Too Much - Few things in life are as risky or dramatic as they first appear. Avoid getting too worried, especially when it hits your sleep. Given enough time, people adapt to almost any context. Make therapy if that helps.

30. Work with Bright People on Hard Problems - The saying that you become the average of the people you spend the most time with is true, especially at work. When you work with people who are the best at what they do, you become smarter. This is even more important when you're working on hard problems, which you should, because that's the best way to stay ahead.

31. Evaluate Character - People show their true character in tough situations. Everyone can seem reliable, trustworthy, and amazing during good times. But those with strong character will do the right thing, even if it means losing something because of it when something bad happens.

32. Look for Opportunities - Be aware the best opportunities in life and work often come when you least expect them. Embrace them as soon as you possibly can.

33. Time above Everything Else - "Days are long, but years are short" is true, especially with kids. Time is limited it's the only thing in life you cannot recover. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled, and cut negativity from your life, especially when caused by others. Occasionally check "Your Life in Weeks" - it's so scary that it will make you do something meaningful with your time. No one will remember you beyond your grandkids' kids, so love and dedicate yourself to your loved ones now. That's the best use of time.

Thanks to Cláudia Pereira for reviewing.